Paleo Night Before Christmas


Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Everyone was paleo….even the mouse
Buffalo jerky was stacked in a plate with care
In hope the St. Nicholas would enjoy some paleo fare

Grok waited in the tree with a spear
In hopes of bagging one of Santa’s Reindeer
Robb Wolf with his NORCAL margarita
Sat reading hate mail from PETA

When out of the yard arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
Over to the window, I moved very quick
Just in time to see a spear fly past St. Nick

He pulled a sled loaded with toys and two 45′s
He moved quickly with vigor in his eyes
Santa was slimmer than I remember
Apparently, he joined crossfit last December

A modified muscle up got him up on the roof
A second later he was down the chimney with a poof
He filled each stocking with a jump rope and some deer
He went to the fridge and threw out the beer

A sandbag for Helen
A kettlebell for Fran
And some vitamin D in case they were in need of a tan

He scaled up the chimney and hitched up to his sled
He gave a wink to Grok who had expected reindeer instead
I leaned out the window and started to whistle
Just then Santa shot off like a missile

I heard him say as he went out of sight
Merry Christmas to all and the paleo people are right!

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1 Comment

  1. That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long long time. Happy Holidays!

    Reply

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